Dan Marino vs. Jim Henson

So, I was having a discussion the other day with my girlfriend, and I'm not sure how it got to this exactly, but she asserted that Dan Marino was "sillier" than Jim Henson. I think it had something to do with their respective alma maters and how overproud those schools are of themselves for having taught them.

Anyway, while I won't try to make the argument of who was "more important" or "better" or anything else like that, but I think I can objectively say that Dan Marino is less "silly" than Jim Henson. I mean, compare this to this. See, Dan Marino tries and fails to be silly from time to time.

A little bit of ze funnies

So, I came up with this wonderfully useless thing today, and I thought it might get a few laughs...

behold, the MS Excel Techno Generator!

to construct follow these simple steps.

1. In cell A1, type oonce (make sure there's a space after it).
2. In cell A3, type # of measures, and enter any number of your choice in cell B3.
3. In cell A4, type emphasis 1, and enter an integer 1-4 in cell B4.
4. In cell A5, type emphasis 2 and enter an integer (smaller than that in B4) in cell B5.
5. In cell B1, enter the formula =REPT(A1,4)&"| "
6. In cell C1, enter the formula =SUBSTITUTE(B1,"oonce","OONCE",B4)
7. In cell D1, enter the formula =SUBSTITUTE(C1,"oonce","OONCE",B5)
8. Type basic song in cell C7 and advanced song in cell D7.
9. In cell C8, enter the formula =REPT(C1,B3).
10. In cell D8, enter the formula =REPT(D1,B3).
11. Format some things so you can see them better. I suggest "wrapping text" in cells C8 and D8, and making cells A3:B5 have a colored background.
12. Now you can play with the three numbers in cells B3:B5 to make an endless selection of techno music!

I hope you enjoy your MS Excel Techno Generator. Why do I get the feeling that the makers of eJay Clubworld started here?

and speaking of vocabulary...

I stumbled across this awesome thing yesterday, and then saw another link to it this morning. If you want to build your vocab, here's the place to do it. Not only will you learn new words (I guarantee you'll learn at least something if you spend 10 minutes here), you can benefit hungry people.

Just when I was starting to lack faith in humanity, I encountered something like this. It seems to happen that way.

In other news, I found a couple of beautiful things in downtown DC that I had never seen before, and that I think are often overlooked. The most striking was the Memorial to the 56 Signers of the Declaration of Independence. It's adjacent to the reflecting pool and the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, and it really is beautiful. I also noticed a statue of John Paul Jones, and learned (actually, I think relearned) a bit of US history. This memorial was surprisingly well-done as well, although its fountains were a bit algae-covered. It sits right by the river pretty close to the Washington Monument. It's kind of in between a bunch of streets, so I don't think many folks actually go all the way up to inspect it.

Vocabulary and writing

Many of us forget that good writers avoid overusing their extensive vocabularies. A lot of long words don't make a piece well written, nor do strings of obscure words. The aim of writing is not to prove that one knows more than his or her readers, but to inform or entertain.

I am a lover of new and interesting words; yesterday I learned the definition of "fustilugs" (here) and was amused. The insertion of such words into a piece must be approached with caution, though.

Unusual words are tempting to use, but many of them are employed rarely for a reason. Some are underused instead. It is difficult at times to distinguish the fresh, exotic word from the awkward, snobbish one. I hope reading this post from time to time will remind me to be selective.

Introduction

My name's Ben, and I'm finally jumping on the blog bandwagon. I have so many different things I could blog about, so I'm not sure what direction this thing will eventually take. I'm hoping it'll mostly include deep thoughts on whatever topic pops into my erratic brain, but it may at times degenerate to the goofy or to a list of "stuff I did." The first real post will come soon, but for now I'll get the "who the heck is this guy and why should I care what he thinks or has to say" part out of the way.

Basically, I'm a recent college graduate who isn't sure yet where his life is headed and you shouldn't.

I grew up in a small West Virginia town called Martinsburg. It's about 90 minutes from Washington, D.C., so it's not quite the middle of nowhere. It had all the advantages of both the major metropolitan area and the rolling countryside. It had all the disadvantages too. I think it prepared me to live just about anywhere, except the extremes like NYC or here. I miss it at times, but my subsequent homes have been excellent for me as well.

I moved to Pittsburgh to attend college at the University of Pittsburgh, where I studied first Chemistry (which I ended up not liking so much) and then Anthropolgy. I didn't really want a career in either when all was said and done, and I didn't really know where to go from there. Grad school is an eventual probability, but for now I don't know what field of study I'd pursue so I'm in a kind of limbo. I really do miss Pitt and its home city; the whole of my experience there (except my actual studies) was wonderful.

Now I'm living in an apartment in Silver Spring, Maryland just a quick jaunt from the DC Metro station with my girlfriend, Laurel. She's from Falmouth, MA (on Cape Cod) and went to Pitt as well. We've only been here a short time, but the area is fantastic. I have a boring job (an administrative contract position with a Federal agency), but I don't care because everything else is going so well. Things from my pipe dreams down to the everyday realities of life are beginning to coalesce into a picture of how my life will unfold.

I have a million hobbies, from sports to video games to the outdoors to music (I'll listen to any genre and I've played the trombone for over 12 years), but the most consistent of my diversions is reading. I'm an avid Sci-fi and Fantasy reader, but I also thoroughly enjoy Mysteries, Thrillers, about half of the Classics, and Nonfiction. Actually, I'll read just about anything that someone recommends to me. The reading has given me two of my major life goals: to own and operate a used book store and to become a published author. I think both goals are achievable, but neither is a valid career option for me now.

My sense of humor is one of my strongest defining characteristics, but that doesn't mean I don't take things seriously. In many cases, I think one has to take an issue seriously to make an adequate joke about it. Humor serves as everything from a defense mechanism to an insight-builder. I'm also a deep thinker and a religious (perhaps more precisely spiritual) person. My religious beliefs, though, aren't very orthodox or beat-you-over-the-head. I don't often share the deeper side with my friends and acquaintances, and thus the blog will partly be an outlet for that.

OK, apologies for the lengthy introduction. Real posts will start soon.