Caution: Rant ahead

Worst. Commute. Ever.

A commute that usually lasts approx. 40 minutes took me 1:25 this morning. Absolutely unacceptable. A small part was due to my lack of observational skills when reading, but that should've only cost me five minutes. The breakdown that follows is why I was 45 minutes late and very frustrated.

First, I just missed a train at Silver Spring. Should've been no big deal, right? Well, it's true that the next train was only two minutes behind, but it kept stopping between every station because of delays with the train I missed. Now, I realize that the train I didn't catch was delayed as well, but mine was delayed even further because of the cleanup after those delays. So that's that piece of brilliance.

So, I arrive at my customary transfer station, Gallery Place - Chinatown, just a bit behind schedule. Again, no big deal, right? Except. Always except. It turns out that the yellow and green lines were also experiencing delays (which it sounds like I would've outpaced on the train I missed), in both directions, for some such malfunction or other. So I waited patiently, thinking "oh well, at least I'll get a few more pages read while I wait." This next part is what was my fault, though. Usually, what happens here is that the first train after I arrive is Green Line, which I don't want. This was, as expected, the case. Also usually, though, the following train is Yelow Line, which I do want. I guess today they added an extra Green somewhere to help clear the delay, but I didn't notice this due to my book and my autopilot. I usually am anal retentive about double checking, but today I was already mildly aggravated so I just leapt on.

This also should have caused only minor problems (or none if I caught the mistake before Le'Enfant Plaza). What happens, though, is that when the Green and Yellow Lines split you end up one stop out of your way. So, when this happened I immediately got off, crossed the station, and got on the return train that was just arriving. Should've been no problem, right?

Here's another except. Except, the delays in the other direction were still happening. So the train moved about three feet, and then came a message about a dozen times about how sorry they were, and thanking all of us for our patience. It didn't help that the gentleman operating the train 1) didn't know how to accelerate or brake properly, with all the stops and starts and 2) was apparently a mental midget as all of his apologies were stammered and stuttered and clipped. This did not enhance the experience.

Success! The train was moving. The operator announced that Le'Enfant Plaza loomed ahead. But the train stopped again. The operator began "I'm sorry but...we appreciate your...We've been asked to make an announcement...I apologize..." I think it took him three or four more intros like that to get to "We're experiencing another Yellow Line delay due to a sick customer on the train at the sation ahead. Personnel are on the scene."

This was the last straw for me, but apparently not for the cosmos. Once I disembarked to turn back around toward my destination, I sped over to the opposite platform in anticipation of a train. Of course again the next two were Green Line, useless hunks of metal and plastic and humanity. At last the proper train arrived, and angels sang (or at least laughed at me melodically). I sat down, and we were away. Of course this didn't stop them from stopping between every station, again. I'm not exactly sure why, either, since the previous yellow line train left Le'Enfant at least 6 minutes before.

At long last, I arrived at Crystal City. The trek was finally at its end...or was it? Not before, of course, the requisite crowd of the morbidly obese blocking the escalators and gates. Also not before the large crowd of other delayed persons caused me to miss the first two elevators, and after the third stopped on all 7 floors before mine.

OK. I am now calm. but, one last thing.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!